vanillalime

Title: Face Off
Main Characters: Holly Beecher, Chris Keller
Rating: PG-13 (for language)
Length: 2,000 words (approx.)
Prompt/Summary: Holly Beecher visits Chris in Oz.
Notes: Thanks to

drsquidlove, who wrote the prompt for the Oz Prompt-A-Thon 2014. Before the Prompt Fest was announced, I had loosely outlined the plot for a long, post-Season 6 AU in anticipation that there might be a Mini-Bang Fest. When I read this prompt, I realized how nicely it would fit into that story as an epilogue. Perhaps someday, I'll write the rest of it.
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There’s no reason to be nervous.

She’s met him twice before, and although everything had been a little awkward, he’d seemed pleasant enough. Of course, her father had been there with them during those occasions and that had surely played a factor.

Holly wipes her sweaty palms on her jeans. Should she shake his hand? Hug him? Would a kiss on the cheek be too much? She desperately wants him to consider her a friend, rather than competition. She decides upon a quick embrace, hoping it will help establish a friendly atmosphere.

She reminds herself that she's the one in control here. After all, this clandestine meeting had been arranged at her request. The warden had graciously been quite accommodating, most likely looking to assuage some guilt. Lord knows, she could relate to that.

The room suddenly feels hot and stuffy. She unzips her hoodie, pulls it off, and realizes she's wearing one of her worn Yale t-shirts underneath. Cursing herself for her lack of foresight, she worries that he will think she's flaunting her wealth or, even worse, interpret it as some kind of intimidation tactic.

On the other hand, maybe that would work to her advantage.

Then a door opens, and Chris is there, sauntering into the visiting room, flashing her that self-confident smile he has. But she can sense the curiosity underneath and the slight unease that accompanies it. Once they're past the introductory pleasantries, they sit down, and Holly decides to get right to the point.

"So, I'm sure you're aware that my dad will be coming up for parole soon...."

And, just like that, the smile falters, and walls go up.

Holly realizes her blunder immediately. She should have made more small talk. Her "people skills" have always been weak.

She frantically tries to repair the damage.

"I'm not naïve, you know. I've realized—" she clears her throat and searches for the right words, "—that you and my dad are very important to each other. And I’m fine with that. But I remember a few specifics about the first time he was paroled, and my uncle has alluded to some things in a note he recently sent me."

Chris narrows his eyes and crosses his arms over his chest. "Oh, does Angus know that Toby's still alive?" he asks in mock ignorance.

She looks down to avoid eye contact before muttering, "Of course he does."

"Just checkin'. Because, you know, everyone in your family has behaved as if he was dead for the last 10 years."

The "including you" was not verbalized but heavily implied.

She lets that sit for a moment. No point in disagreeing with the truth. You must learn to face uncomfortable realities, as her therapist likes to say.

Finally, she looks directly at him. "I'm not interested in rehashing the past," she emphatically states. "Mistakes were made by everyone."

She pauses and waits for a response, and he obliges by nodding his head briefly in agreement.

"Look, I've been working hard at re-establishing a relationship with my dad, and I would like to continue to do so," she explains. "But it would be a lot easier if he wasn't here in Oz. I'm here today simply to ask you not to do anything that might get in the way of that."

To her surprise, he leans back in his chair and laughs. Eventually, he wipes a hand across his face in a show to bring himself back under control. She’s pretty sure it’s some kind of act, but she wonders what exactly is supposed to be so amusing.

Finally, he says, "You really think your dad has any chance of making parole?"

The question catches her off guard.

"Well, of course I do. Why wouldn’t he?"

He looks at her with what appears to be genuine disbelief. "Are you familiar at all with his history?" he asks.

Holly sighs. "I think he’s paid the price many times over for what happened to Kathy Rockwell. And he’s not really responsible for the death of—" the name Schillinger catches in her throat, and an image of her frightened brother briefly flashes in front of her before she pushes it back, way back, into the small, chaotic place that she shares only with her psychiatrist, "—that Nazi who caused so many problems.

"He's hardly a threat to society," she continues. "Really, if it wasn’t for that unfortunate incident with the guard at that other prison while Oz was closed, he would have been out a long time ago."

He raises an eyebrow and smirks. "Unfortunate incident? They don't add 8 more years to your sentence for an unfortunate incident."

"Well, yes, but what he did was out of character, and it's not likely to be repeated. I mean, it's not like he's a serial killer."

Chris stares at her with a strange look for a long time and doesn't say anything. She begins to wonder if she's upset him somehow, which is her last intention. She finds her inability to read him frustrating. She grows impatient and starts to fidget.

Finally, he leans forward and very slowly says, "I don't think you know your dad as well as you think you do."

She can't help but glare back at him. She's already very much aware of how little she knows her father and doesn't need it pointed out to her. But she's also had plenty of conversations with Oz's administrators, and they had been kind enough to update her on all the progress made by her father over the last few years.

"I'm well aware that he's not the man I remember from my childhood," she responds defensively. "But do you honestly think he exhibits a consistent pattern of behavior that would prevent him from being paroled?"

Again, a long pause and the stare.

"You know those guards that accompany him here and back when you come to visit?" he finally asks. "They ain't protecting your dad from the other prisoners.

"They're protecting the other prisoners from him."

Now Holly laughs in disbelief, even though she knows he's being serious. "I find that hard to believe," she says. "I know he has demons, but he’s learned to control them. He’s also been clean and sober for many years—"

"No, he hasn't."

He gives her an accusatory look. She feels a wave of guilt and pauses in confusion. "But the warden said—"

"McManus doesn't know shit."

Holly looks down as she feels the sudden sting of tears, but holds them back. Instead, she crosses her arms and gives a short, exasperated sigh. This isn't going at all how she’d planned.

She looks back at Chris and is startled to see him smiling, a real smile this time, one that reaches his eyes. There is something else there, too, that she can’t quite put her finger on. Pride? No, that doesn’t make sense. Probably gratification.

"What?" she asks in irritation.

Chris tilts his head to the side, but the smile remains. "You sounded like your dad just now. He makes that same huffing sound whenever he’s frustrated or angry. It lets me know when I’m gettin' to him or that I've pushed him too far." The smile widens, and he chuckles. "He makes that sound a lot."

Holly involuntarily rolls her eyes. "It’s nice to know you two have such a great relationship, full of respect and support," she snaps sarcastically.

This time, she’s not surprised when he laughs in response.

"Yeah, that sounds just like your dad, too."

He composes himself and sits up straight. "Look, I won’t do anything to jeopardize your dad’s chance of makin’ parole. I promise. I’ve learned my lessons. But I don't think it matters. You need to understand that the parole board doesn’t give a shit about what’s best for you, or your dad. They care about what’s best for society. And what’s best for society is keeping your dad in here."

"Coincidentally, that also happens to be what’s best for you."

Chris shrugs. "Okay, let’s say, I’m wrong. Maybe he’ll fool the parole board as well as he fools McManus and the counselors here, who are always a little too quick to look the other way when it comes to his ‘unfortunate incidents’ because somehow they believe part of it is their fault. Maybe he’ll be able to walk out of here and into your open arms. Then what? You’re his only connection in the outside world. You know damn well that no one else wants anything to do with him, and you think that’s gonna change? What happens in the fall, when you take off for law school—"

“Medical school.”

"—and he’s left alone with his ghosts and his guilt? He’ll go see some high-priced new shrink who’ll need months to grasp what he’s been through, what goes on in his head. He’ll go to AA meetings lookin' for support from total strangers who have no fuckin’ clue. Things’ll get worse and worse, and then he does something terrible, either to himself or to other people.

"Or, best case scenario, he’ll just sit around countin' the days until you come to visit him for the weekend. Maybe that's easier for you, but is it really any better for him? Compared to what he’s got now?"

"Because in here, he has you."

Chris nods his head. "Yeah, he does."

Holly puts her elbows on the table and rests her head in her hands. She feels confused and suspects that another migraine is coming on. A lot of what he says makes sense, and he speaks the truth more than she cares to admit. But the idea that her father is better off here in Oz than he is outside is just too incredible to believe.

"I just want my dad back," she whispers.

He grabs her hands and gently pushes them down, forcing her to look at him. When she does, the walls are gone, and she sees real compassion there.

"I know how you feel," he says quietly. "But, Holly, you have your whole life ahead of you. Don’t let all the shit that you’ve had to deal with drag you down. Go to medical school, become a doctor. Find some guy who treats you like you’re the most important thing in the world, have a family of your own. And know that your dad always loves you, wherever he is."

She has to get out of here. She pulls away from him and gathers her things. She looks at him once more and does her best to smile.

"Thank you for meeting with me today, Chris. And please remember your promise."

She hurries toward the door and doesn’t look back.

*~*~*~*~*

A week later, Holly gets a call from the warden. He informs her that her father has been sent to the hole due to his part in an altercation with another prisoner in the cafeteria. The details on the cause of the fight are sketchy, as they always are with these kind of things. But several eyewitnesses indicated that the fight had been largely one-sided on the part of her father, and the physical evidence confirmed that. The other prisoner was going to be in the infirmary for a while, recovering from his injuries.

As a result, he's sorry to say, her father’s parole hearing has been postponed indefinitely. But, on the bright side, he should be out of the hole in time for the next Visiting Day, if she is still interested in coming?

"Of course," Holly replies. She thanks McManus for calling and hangs up the phone.

She's hurt, she's frustrated, and above all, she's disappointed. Definitely disappointed. But she thinks about all the things Chris said, and she tries to ignore the sense of relief bubbling underneath the surface.

She also remembers the promise that Chris made. And she wonders exactly how that fight in the cafeteria got started.

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Cross-posted here to the