vanillalime

The Perfect Tree (I'm not really sure where my mind was on this AU)

Toby paced through the lot, his boots making crunching sounds on the packed snow.

"I told you, we should've come here last weekend," he huffed. "These trees are pretty picked over."

Chris just rolled his eyes and didn’t say anything.

Toby threw cursory glances at several of the Fraser firs before coming to a stop in front of a balsam.

"How about this one?" he asked Chris

Dodging another group of tree-hunters, Chris walked in a circle around the tree. Tilting his head, he replied, "I dunno, Tobe. It’s got a hole up at the top."

"They’ve all got holes," Toby muttered under his breath.

Chris paused and stared at Toby. Then he grinned mischievously and said, "Maybe you’re right."

Toby marched on. Eventually, he paused in front of another tree. He walked around it and said, "How does this one look?"

Shaking his head, Chris said, "It’s kinda short and stubby." He looked directly at Toby. "Reminds me of a mushroom, y'know?"

Toby gritted his teeth, but didn’t say anything. He continued walking. A short time later, he found another tree with potential, one that was tall and had no bare spots.

"This one looks good," he proposed.

Chris stepped backwards. "Actually, there's a weird bend to it that's freakin' me out."

Toby raised an eyebrow. The tree was a little crooked, maybe, but it still had possibilities.

From there, they walked to the back of the lot. Toby sighed in relief as he found the perfect tree: straight, tall, no holes.

"This is it!" he exclaimed with a wave of his hand.

"You sure, Tobe?" Chris asked him. "I’d say it’s lacking in girth."

Toby froze. Then he slowly turned around to face Chris. "Girth?"

He saw the corner of Chris’s mouth twitch. "Yeah, girth," Chris repeated.

Toby glared at him. "We are talking about trees, right?"

Chris shifted in place. "I really don’t know what you mean," he replied innocently.

Toby turned back around and pushed the tree to the ground. He bent over and picked up the end of its trunk, and began dragging it across the snow in the direction of the cashier station.

Jogging to catch up to him, Chris said, "Took you long enough."

"We’ll see how you feel about its girth when I’m shoving it up your ass tonight," Toby snapped.

Chris laughed into the cold air as he picked up the other end of the tree.