vanillalime

Miss Sally's Snowballs

"We have a very special day planned here at Miss Sally's Schoolyard!" Miss Sally proclaimed enthusiastically. "We're going to go outside for recess and play in the snow!"

The inmates all clapped in anticipation as they watched Miss Sally jump up and down in excitement.

"Yo, I hope it's really cold outside," O'Reily said. "If you know what I mean."

The other inmates laughed. They watched Miss Sally get bundled up in a low-cut snowsuit before leading Nooter and Pecky outdoors.

"Let's make snowballs!" Miss Sally suggested. She scooped up some snow in her hands and formed a ball with it. Then she turned to look at the camera. "They're as much fun to play with as regular balls!"

"I don't know about that!" Hoyt yelled at the screen. The other inmates nodded their heads in agreement.

"Different kinds of snow can make different kinds of snowballs," Miss Sally explained. "Sometimes your balls are soft and light."

"Only if you haven't hit puberty yet," Hill snickered.

Miss Sally bounced her snowball in her hands, and it slowly fell apart. She grabbed more snow to make another snowball.

"But then," she continued, "snow turns slushy when things getting a little hotter. Then your balls become firm and heavy."

Cupping a hand under the new snowball, Miss Sally slowly moved it up and down to insinuate its heavier weight. Several inmates moaned as they watched Miss Sally's demonstration.

"My balls are always firm and heavy," Keller declared.

Miss Sally then engaged in a short snowball fight with Nooter and Pecky, bouncing around in an attempt to dodge flying snowballs.

When they were finished, Miss Sally breathlessly faced the camera. "But that's not all you can do," she said. "Do you know what you can do with really big balls?"

"I sure as hell do!" Pancamo shouted from the back row.

"You can make a snowman!" Miss Sally announced. She then trotted over to a pre-made snowman and gave it a hug.

"Oh, no," she cried. "It's missing something."

Looking at the camera, Miss Sally asked, "Do you know what it is?"

"Yeah, its dick," muttered Beecher.

Miss Sally held up a carrot. "Its nose!"

Beecher shrugged. "Close enough."

Miss Sally pushed the carrot into the center of the snowman's face. She slowly slid her hand down the length of it before facing the camera again.

"I think recess is over now. It's time to go back inside," she said.

Everyone groaned in disappointment as Miss Sally, Nooter, and Pecky all headed back indoors.

"Once I'm back inside, do you know what helps me get warm again?" Miss Sally asked as she took off her snowsuit. "Drinking hot chocolate!"

Nooter handed her a mug, and she cradled it in her hands. "I just love that tickling sensation of warm liquid running down my throat!" she exclaimed with a smile.

The inmates all doubled over with laughter as Miss Sally took a drink from her mug. As the credits began to roll, she used her tongue to lick the whipped cream off her upper lip.

Everyone then proceeded to get up out of their chairs, with the exception of Busmalis. He just sat there staring, transfixed, at the television screen.

Finally, with the awe and wonder of a young boy on Christmas morning, he declared, "That really was the best Miss Sally EVER."