vanillalime: (b/k xmas)
[personal profile] vanillalime
(Okay, something had to give yesterday, and it ended up being Day 19's advent posting. Sorry about that!)

U-G-L-Y, You Ain't Got No Alibi

Sean pulled the sweater over his head and looked in the mirror. It was the ugliest thing he'd ever seen in his life.

"Oh, it looks great!" Tim said with a big smile. "All that green really brings out the color of your eyes."

Grimacing, Sean noted the two big white snowflakes strategically placed along the chest. They reminded him of pasties on a stripper. Not that Sean had watched many strippers in his lifetime.

At least, not female ones.

Tim then put on his own sweater, his eyes aglow with excitement, and stood next to Sean in front of the mirror. Sean stepped back in horror as he realized that Tim's sweater was the red version of his own. They looked like twin Christmas elves wearing costumes designed by Santa during an LSD-induced hallucination.

Don we now our gay apparel, indeed, thought Sean.

He swallowed hard and looked back at Tim. "I'm not so sure about this theme of yours... " he said cautiously.

"Sean, trust me!" Tim exclaimed. "A lot of people are throwing Ugly Sweater Christmas Parties, with great success! You're going to have a wonderful time!"

"Well, if you say so," said Sean, rubbing his forehead. Then he turned around and headed into the bathroom. He felt a headache coming on and thought it’d be a good idea to take some aspirin as a precaution.

Despite Sean’s misgivings, Tim’s party was a smash hit after all. Everyone especially loved Father Ray’s hand-made "Happy Birthday, Jesus!" sweater, and he won the contest for ugliest sweater. The prize happened to be a basket of goodies from a local adult bookstore, so Ray auctioned it off to the highest bidder. An excited Claire announced that her Christmas was about to get a whole lot merrier.

Tim and Sister Pete had just finished a karaoke version of "Baby, It’s Cold Outside," when Tim noticed that Sean had changed into his Buffalo Sabres jersey.

"What happened to your sweater?" a wobbly Tim asked in disappointment.

Sean threw an arm around Tim’s shoulders, a dejected look on his own face. "You’re not going to believe this—I spilled red wine all over the front while you were singing," he explained. "It’s ruined."

"Oh, no!" said Tim, leaning against him for support. "What a catastrophe!"

"Yeah," agreed Sean, trying not to laugh. "I’m devastated. But everyone's having a great time. I should never have doubted you or your idea."

Tim's red face broke out into a huge smile as bright as the sun.

And on Christmas morning, Sean tried his best to smile when he opened up Tim’s gift: a new ugly sweater to replace the one he’d just thrown away.
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